PotterCast 130: The One with JK Rowling Transcript

Part 1 (0:00 - 16:08)

John Noe (JN): Sue, which Bit-by-Bit are we doing this week, anyway?

Sue Upton (SU): Oh, I don't know. But you know what, John? I still keep thinking about what you were saying the other day about the House Elves. Jo specifically said that they were- (JN: I remember this.) what?

JN: I remember this just as well as you.

SU: No. She said that just as Dumbledore gave refuge to Dobby, they were free. They- so, too, did Helga. She did not enslave them, she did not.

JN: There's this big elaborate thing with every House Elf there with a Malfoy-like master, (SU: What?) that they were all given socks by some other Harry-type person. (SU sighs) That's a whole unique event with Dobby. (SU: No!) All these other creatures, (SU: They could've...) they probably came in wagons to the castle. (SU laughs)

Melissa Anelli (MA): Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. (JN: Oh, hey, Melvin.) Oh, my go- hi! How you doing?

SU: Oh, hi. Hi Melissa!

JN: We're about to start the show, I guess.

MA: Yeah I know, but you just won't do it. There must be an end somewhere to this argument.

JN: This is all very obvious now. She confirmed this to me on Skype.

SU: What? She did not.

JN: What? She did. We chat all the time, Noelover42, are you new here?

SU: I am not new here. (MA laughs) But, I don't believe you.

MA: Okay, guys, guys. Look, look. There will never be another PotterCast again if we don't get to the bottom of this. I'm going to call someone, okay?

JN: Oh, you got a number now, huh?

MA: Yeah, yeah, I got a number now. (phone beeps)

JN: All right, what's this all about? (phone rings)

JN: Oh, it's ringing, good. (MA laughs)

Rosi: Greetings. Thank you for calling the Hogwarts Muggle Liaison Office. (JN: The what?) (MA: Yeah, guys.) If you know your party's extension, please enter it now, at any time.

JN: Where did this come from you guys?

SU: (laughs) This is awesome.

MA: Just hang on.

Rosi: If you are the parent or guardian of a child currently attending Hogwarts, please press one now. If you are calling in regards to last week's incident with the Giant Squid, press two now. If you are calling to check on the current status for tickets to any of the upcoming Quidditch matches, (JN: Oh! I want to...) please press three now. (SU: I'm going.) For all other inquiries, please press four, or stay on the line and your call will be connected with a House Elf in the order it was received.

JN: House Elves? (laughs)

SU: No! Poor House Elves, no!

MA: You guys, what was that? Shh, I'm trying to figure it out.

Rosi: For the Faculty Directory (MA: What? What was that?) press naught.

JN: Press zero, I think.

MA: Press zero? Okay. (JN: Go ahead.) (phone beeps) Okay, Okay.

Rosi: Welcome to the Faculty Directory. (JN: Yay!) Please use your numeric keypad to spell out the last name of the staff member you wish to reach.

MA: Oh, I know what to do.

JN: Okay, I got this. I got this. I got this. (MA: You got it?) I got it. (phone beeps)

MA: Okay.

Rosi: Thank you. Please stay on the line. (phone rings)

Alan Rickman: Good afternoon.

SU and MA: Ah!

SU: No way! (JN laughs)

MA: Get away! Get away! Stop!

SU: Hey, sexy man!

MA: Hang up! Hang up! John! Sue! Hang up, hang up. (JN laughs) John, why'd you do that?

JN: That's too fun.

Rosi: Thank you for calling the Muggle Liaison Office. If you know your party's extension, please enter it now, at any time.

MA: Okay guys, seriously, we have to do the right numbers now, okay? Hang on. (phone beeps)

Rosi: Thank you, code accepted. Please stay on the line.

JN: What was that number?

MA: It's just a number. (phone rings)

Fiddy: Hello.

MA: Fiddy! Oh! Thank God.

Fiddy: Oh, who's that?

SU: Hello!

MA: Guys say...

JN: Hello!

Fiddy: Oh goodness. (laughs) Is that Melissa?

MA: It is. Hi, how you doing?

Fiddy: Hi Melissa. It sounds like you've got John and Sue with you.

MA: I do. (JN: As usual.) Well...

Fiddy: As usual. (laughs)

SU: Yeah.

MA: They're at it again, and we just- I'm just going to go crazy, ugh.

Fiddy: Oh, no. Not the House Elves and Hufflepuff thing again, is it?

SU: Woo hoo! Yes!

MA: Yeah.

Fiddy: Oh no. Well I think we should sort it out. The best way is probably by asking the expert.

MA: I think you're right.

Fiddy: Well, let me see if we can get a hold of her. Hold on. (phone rings)

JN: Oh, man.

J.K. Rowling (JKR): This had better not be about House Elves.

MA: Jo, it is, I'm sorry!

SU: It is! Hey, Jo! Hello!

JN: Hey Jo!

JKR: Hi! (laughs) Well, House Elves, go on then.

MA: Still, still. They are still arguing about this and I'm sick of it. And we need you to answer it so bad.

JN: What I'm telling Sue is that if she remembered from when we talked about this in New York, (JKR: Yes.) Jo said that Helga Hufflepuff was a plantation owner (SU: No! She gave them refuge! Refuge! R-E...) of House Elves...

JKR: (laughs) Refuge!

SU: (whispers) Refuge. (MA: Oh, Jo.) She didn't enslave them.

JKR: Yeah, it's a complicated issue. I would say that Hufflepuff gave- Hufflepuff did what was the most moral thing to do at that time, and we are talking about over a thousand years ago. So that would be to give them good conditions of work. There was no kind of activism there, so no one's going to say, "Here's an idea, let's free them. (SU: Yeah.) Let's pay them." It was just, "Well we'll bring them somewhere they can work and not be abused."

SU: Yeah but- see? She did not go around with a whip and say, "Yah! You must work in the kitchens!" (MA: Sue!) Right?

JKR: No, definitely not. That would not be- no. No. (SU: See?) Definitely not, John.

SU: Thank you, Jo!

MA: (sighs) Okay, okay. Well, let's go into this further. (SU laughs) Jo, we are about ready to get ready to start a recording here. We can talk about this for longer if you want. Do you want to join us for a show?

JKR: (sighs) Well, I've got nothing better to do. (JN laughs)

JN: All right, you heard her, guys. Leaky and PotterCast are proud and excited to bring you a very special interview with the one and only J.K. Rowling.

JKR: Welcome to PotterCast, your number one source for news, theories, discussion, and interviews, with people from the Potter books and films. I know a small amount myself, having written the books. My name is J.K. Rowling. I am now happy to introduce your hosts, Melissa, John, and Sue.

SU: Yay, Jo! Okay. (All laugh)

MA: Jo, I can't tell you how long we've joked, in a total outer space fashion, about you doing that intro one day.

JKR: Do you know what my favorite bit was? Melissa, when you posted the thing about, "Anyone got extra questions? (MA: I know!) What loose ends would you tie up?" And the very first comment was, "Yeah, that's a strange thing to ask us, Melissa. Almost like someone was coming on who could answer those questions." I really liked that.

MA: I'm glad you brought it up, because I have to apologize to the reader of our site (SU: Yes.) called nimbus xl, who actually said that, and I actually came the closest to lying (SU: Yeah.) that I've ever done on Leaky, when I told everybody, "Calm down, we'd tell you if it was Jo, everybody relax!" (MA and JN laugh)

JKR: Melissa Anelli, you filthy, filthy liar. (SU: Yes.) (JN laughs) (MA: That's me.) Previously respected webmistress.

MA: (laughs) Yeah, no more, I hand it all in, I'm done. (JN laughs) Oh gosh, but we wanted to save the surprise, and Jo that's what this hopefully is, a nice pre-Christmas surprise (JKR: Cool.) for everybody, so- I'm more excited than anything that John and Sue now have the chance to get- and to hear and talk.

SU: Yeah.

JN: We're gonna give it a shot. I was stunned silly the last time I saw her, I could hardly say anything. (JKR: Oh, you were completely lovely.) But I can't really see her right now, so…

JKR: Oh, you're missing nothing I tell you, I'm not looking good at the moment. (JN and SU laugh) (JN: We're all in our PJs.) A couple of weeks of Christmas shopping and a lot of really hectic life has taken it out of me.

SU: And you've had quite a banner day (JN: Oh, gosh.) already, with the auction, too, and everything. It just been amazing for Mr. Beedle the…

JKR: I feel kind of shell shocked at the moment. We just watched the auction live- this is of Beedle the Bard in case anyone doesn't know what the hell we're talking about- and yeah, it went for 1.95 million pounds. And I can't tell you what that means, it's unbelievable. Yeah. I'm really staggered and I'm so excited. It's just gonna make a really big difference to the charity, and also it was a means of raising awareness of the charity which was at least as important as the money, so it's really done that job. God I'm so happy, can't tell you.

SU: Well that's just brilliant. But we're all so curious, though, Jo, is there any little tidbits you can reveal now?

JKR: What, about Beedle the Bard? (SU: Mm-hm.) The stories thereof? (SU: Mm-hm.) Well, I can tell you I- let's think. Wizards in the Hopping Pot, is kind of a- the moral really, it's to teach young wizards and witches that they should use their magic altruistically. (SU: Oh, okay.) Then, Fountain of Fair Fortune is my favorite one, and that's really about the qualities you need to achieve your heart's desire, and the moral being that magic, ultimately, is not the best weapon. Warlock's Hairy Heart is really, quite gothic, it's quite dark that one, and Voldemort would've done well to know that story (SU: Yeah.) before he set out on his campaign of terror. Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump is the stupidest title ever written by man or beast (SU and JN laugh) and of course when I wrote it, I never- I had not, at the point, when I gave Ron that title, I didn't imagine for a second that I was actually going to write the story. (SU: Yeah.) And I did have a small- there was this kind of margin of time where I knew I was going to write Beedle the Bard and the book wasn't published. We were still editing, and I could've gone back and changed the titles. And I really liked the idea of keeping those titles and then finding out what the stories were, but Babbity Rabbity was a challenge. (JKR and SU laugh) But I did get there and it's a story about revenge. One witch's sort of cunning way of revenging herself for persecution, for Muggle persecution. And then you know The Tale of the Three Brothers. (JN: Hm.) (SU: Yeah.) Which is the last one in the book, so I've just given them to you chronologically as they appear in the book. I loved writing them. I really, really loved writing them. But I have to say that before I had the idea of producing the books to say, "Thank you," to these key people, I (laughs) imagined there would be about thirty tales of Beedle the Bard, (SU: Oh, wow!) and after I had the idea of writing them out by hand (SU laughs) seven times, turns out there were just five.

SU: Yeah. (SU and MA laugh)

JN: And I can't thank you enough for that copy, Jo. (SU: Oh!) I've been reading it to the girls here over the weeks, and…

JKR: Yeah, did you like it? The diamond encrusted version? (MA laughs)

JN: It was amazing, and the cover was beautiful!

JKR: You don't think it was a bit too bling? (SU laughs)

JN: Well no, I have a lot of that stuff on my wall already, (JKR: Uh-huh.) so it just kinda fits right in perfectly. (JKR: John, it was my pleasure.) So…

JKR: Thank you for the inspiration. (MA and SU and JN laugh)

JN: It was a pleasure to read it. You know, I did what I could, so…

JKR: And did you like the dedication? "You were right all along about Horcri?"

SU: Oh no! (MA: Ah! Jo!) There's that word!

JN: Nobody would believe me. (MA laughs)

MA: Oh, he's never gonna let it stop!

JKR: I did write him a letter, and I did say that actually Horcri is- it occurred to me it really would have been a more correct plural, but I already had Inferi and I didn't want to have too many Dark Arts weapons ending in -ri. So it was a kind of stylistic choice, really. I like Horcruxes as a plural.

JN: It's grown on me, too.

JKR: As a linguist- (laughs) oh, thanks, John! (All laugh) See, this is why I give him copies of Beedle the Bard. He's a generous man. (MA laughs)

SU: (laughs) Oh, yeah. (JN: Yes.) Oh, but Jo, those Horcruxes, though, I tell ya. There's so much to ask still about those. Okay, we have to know. Who created the first Horcrux? Was it Grindelwald? Salazar? Who did that?

JKR: Do you know what? I got a feeling it was Herpo, (SU: Oh!) which is H-E-R-P-O. (SU: Herpo the Foul?) I think I called him Herpo the Foul. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. But, you know, wizards would have been looking for ways to do exactly what Voldemort did for years. And some of the ways they would have tried would've killed them. So, I imagine it- well, they're huge parallels- splitting the atom would be a very good parallel in our world. Something that people imagine might be able to do be done, but couldn't quite bring it off and then people started doing it, with sometimes catastrophic effects. So that's how I see the Horcrux.

SU: Right. Because you said that Tom Riddle said that there'd been- or Dumbledore did- somebody said that there was only one person. (MA: Slughorn.) And we were just…

MA: As far as Tom Riddle knew.

JKR: Yeah, but I do imagine that other people are going to have tried. I think it would be naive not to think that people have been trying for a long time, and thought they succeeded and hadn't, or else maimed themselves or killed themselves in the attempt. It's such a dangerous thing to do.

SU: Oh. Evil thing. You know, just...

JKR: Yeah.

MA: What is the process? Do you- is there a spell? Is there a- what do they have to do?

JKR: I see it as a series of things you would have to do. So, you would have to perform a spell. But you would also- I don't even know if I want to say it out loud. (SU: Yeah.) I know that sounds funny, but I did really think it through. There are two things I think that are too horrible, actually, to go into detail about. (laughs) One of them is how Pettigrew brought Voldemort back into a rudimentary body. (SU: Yeah.) 'Cause I told my editor what I thought happened there and she looked as though she was gonna vomit. (SU and JN laugh) And then the other thing is how you make a Horcrux. And I don't even like- I don't know. Will it be in the encyclopedia? I don't know if I can bring myself to- I don't know.

SU: Oh, Jo! You mentioned the "e" word!

JKR: Oh, God, yeah. God, yes I did. (MA laughs) We should call it something like "The Scottish Book." (All laugh)

JN: The Scottish Book!

MA: Oh, jeez. You don't want to curse it now, Jo.

JKR: It must not be mentioned live on air.

MA: (laughs) Yeah, exactly. We can't wait for that. We hope you get on to that as soon as you feel comfortable doing so.

JKR: Yeah. Would it be okay if that's ten years? (SU gasps) (MA: We'll be around.) No one laughed. (All laugh) No, listen, I absolutely intend to do it, but I can't pretend that I'm in a hurry right now. It's gonna be a hell of a lot of work. But I have- I've kept everything and I know where things are and yeah, at some point I will get myself together and do it.

JN: I was gonna offer, just in case you needed help on that particular chapter, (SU: John!) I've got a lot of baby pictures (JKR laughs) and childhood anecdotes for the Dawlish chapter (SU: Oh, here we go!) that might just help fill things in a little bit.

JKR: You know what? Again, John, you're always there when I need you. (JN laughs) That's great, that would be great.

SU: Jo, he idolizes a man, an Auror, who got pwnd by an old lady wearing a dead bird on her head. You know, on her hat. Now, come on! (laughs) You know?

JN: Now, they don't understand this, Jo. I know we've talked about this, (JKR and SU laugh) they don't understand the night that this, they call it a duel, it wasn't a duel. At least in my mind, anyway. I think it needs a little explaining of how somebody as skillful as Dawlish could've (JKR: Yeah. You know...) got taken down like this. And feel free to let all the air out of my sails. That's fine.

JKR: Listen. (MA: John maintains that she suckerpunched him.) You know what? (JN: Yeah, she suckerspelled him.) I find it so incredibly endearing that you like Dawlish. (All laugh) And that's why his name is now John Dawlish, as we know. (SU: Oh!) In tribute to you, and that will indeed be a note in the encyclopedia, (SU: Oh, my god.) or "The Scottish Book" as we are now calling it. (JN: Yes.)(MA laughs) Dawlish had to be good. He had to be good, because he became an Auror. There's no denying that. But he has his weaknesses and Dumbledore knew how to exploit them. (JN: Oh!) And let's face it; anyone going up to Dumbledore pre-trying on the Horcrux, pre-maiming his hand- anyone is going to be in trouble going up against Dumbledore. Even Voldemort didn't want to do it. So, it's no dishonor to Dawlish.

JN: Well, certainly. Was Dumbledore involved in- (JKR: In weakening him?) they said it was Mrs. Longbottom. (All laugh)

JKR: Well, that's after- by the time Augusta Longbottom got to him, he had been- (JN: Oh, right, oh right.) several people had attacked Dawlish. (laughs) I think he was a bit punch-drunk by that point. (All laugh) He had become a favorite with the- a favorite punchbag of the Order of the Phoenix by then. So, I don't think he was firing on all cylinders. But no, (JN laughs) I really saw Mrs. Longbottom as a powerful witch. (SU: Yes, yes!) So, sorry. (JN: I suppose.) I went down to Leavesden recently and I saw Michael Gambon with his withered hand. That was quite exciting. Yeah.