PotterCast #106: Columbus Transcript

Part 1 (0:00 - 17:04)

Melissa Anelli (MA): Hi! Oh, my God. (Audience laughs and applauds)

John Noe (JN): Hello, hello!

MA: Wow. Welcome to- us to Ohio, wow, thank you! (JN: Here we are!) I always stop myself, because we always say, "Welcome to..." and then we realize that you all live here, (JN: Pretty much.) and you know.

Audience Member: Well not all.

MA: Not- hello, where are you from?

Audience Member: Dayton.

Sue Upton (SU): Dayton?

MA: Where?

JN: Dayton.

SU: Dayton, Ohio. It's still Ohio.

MA: Dayton! Who thinks they came the furthest? Oh, boy, we're gonna have a battle. Well, these guys came from two- we have the whole Noe family here today, guys.

SU: Woo hoo! (Audience cheers)

MA: Very special day. Who else, who else? Who else came really far? West Virginia?

JN: There you go. We drove through that.

MA: We drove through West Virginia.

JN: About ten minutes, wasn't it?

MA: (laughs) A little slip of West Virginia. (JN: Yeah.) Anybody else further? Pittsburgh? (SU: Ooh!) That's pretty far. Cleveland!

JN: Cleveland! That's pretty far.

MA: How far is Cleveland?

Audience Member: About two-and-a-half hours.

MA: Two-and-a-half? (JN: Yeah.) And you? (JN: Indiana?) How far is Indiana? How far is that part of Indiana?

Audience Member: About two hours.

MA: Two hours? Wow, you guys.

JN: Pretty good!

Audience Member: Everything's two hours from Columbus.

MA: Everything's two hours from Columbus, you hear? (laughs)

JN: Aww. I used to go to school down here, at Ohio State! (Audience cheers) I figured that would get some applause. (Audience applauds)

SU: Yeah! Go Bucks.

JN: So did Sue, didn't you?

MA: So did Sue.

SU: I graduated from Ohio State.

JN: Sue graduated from Ohio State. (Audience cheers)

SU: Go Bucks!

Audience Member: O-H!

Audience: I-O!

SU: That's right! Woo!

JN: (laughs) There we go!

Audience Member: O-H!

Audience: I-O!

Audience Member: O-H!

Audience: I-O!

SU: Yeah! All right! (All laugh)

MA: It's gonna be a long podcast. (laughs) Oh, my. Wow, I think the Borders people are probably a little bit surprised by this reaction. (Audience laughs) When we came in, they were like, "So what is this?" You know?

JN: Yeah.

Audience Member: (inaudible)

MA: Hmm.

SU: Wow! So awesome! I love it!

MA: Wow. So, (SU: Go Bucks!) who wants to start us off with our usual- I think since it's you guys' hometown, you should just...

JN: What are we doing first, Sue?

SU: Oh, well, don't we ask questions?

JN: We have to introduce our animal friends?

SU: Oh, do we? Oh, my! (Audience laughs)

MA: Sue has a new animal friend.

JN: Suze?

SU: I have a new friend, and his name is Bernie the Badger. Bernard. (Audience laughs) (JN: Yeah.) And he's a Hufflepuff!

JN: Of course. (SU: Yay!) And most of you know who Fred is by now, if you listen to the previous shows. Fred from Tucson (Audience applauds and cheers) (Audience Member: Go, Fred!) makes another appearance. (SU: We're still missing...) He gets around.

SU: We're missing our third friend, though.

MA: I'm animal-less. (JN: Yeah, well.) I have a lion. Somebody gave me a lion that I named Mufraka. (JN: Yeah.) (Audience laughs) It's a long story. (laughs) (JN: Yes.) But...

JN: Now what, now?

SU: We'll be good.

JN: I have my tooth back on.

SU: Yay!

JN: Everybody who- (laughs) I don't think anyone's here from the Jersey show yesterday.

MA: I hope you're not. (SU laughs)

JN: But I was toothless for that show, it was very sad. I kept my mouth shut for most of the show. It was a very boring show. (Audience laughs) So, no. (MA: Clearly.) Yeah. (SU: Yeah, he rarely talked.) All right, well, one of the first things we do, I guess, is we quiz our cities that we go to. Who knows their Harry Potter the best in five questions for Deathly Hallows. (SU: Ooh.) We tally up everybody's scores from the other cities. We are going to see which city had it right and how many cities tied for first place. I think that it is going to be about twelve. (Audience laughs) So...

SU: It's real close.

JN: But we figured out in New York that we are going to figure it up by which city was also the loudest.

MA: Uh-oh.

SU: I don't know.

JN: So, we will have to consult the tapes.

SU: I am thinking. I am thinking.

JN: They had quite a few people in the New York show. So...

MA: New York was pretty loud, but Columbus is scaring me a little bit. (Audience laughs)

JN: Well, there all tight in here. (Audience cheers) Columbus has the whole horseshoe thing going on here. So, you know what that's all about.

SU: That's perfect.

MA: They love that they are scaring me, too. That's even scarier (JN laughs) and I am from New York. (Audience laughs)

JN: Aw. Well, the first of our five questions, that we always have trouble thinking of the first one, is I think it was...

MA and SU: You never know.

JN: It's about-

MA: No. How about we ask them?

JN: Oh, look at that.

MA: It's the questions.

SU: Awesome. Oh, thank you.

JN: That is awesome.

SU: That's great.

MA: Oh, I like Ohio.

SU: Turn around. I have got to read them.

MA: Okay. Yeah, you get to stay here. (JN: Perfect.) What's your name?

Sarah: Sarah.

MA: Sarah? Sarah is going to be our cue card today. (Audience laughs)

JN: I love it. We just need about forty more Sarah's to come with the rest of the show.

MA: She's got all the answers checked off, too.

JN: Perfect.

MA: Okay. Okay, we'll see.

JN: All right. Fine. Okay, first question is about the veil. I don't know how many of you have got to see Order of the Phoenix, the film, with the veil. (Audience cheers) It was pretty cool stuff. So, what we want to know now, seeing how cool that veil was, if Harry will go behind it at any point in time during Deathly Hallows? And if you think he will... (laughs)

SU: Ah, look at that sign.

JN: No. Ah, that's awesome. (Audience claps)

SU: You win. That's awesome.

MA: What does your shirt say?

Audience Member: I heart Neville.

JN and MA: Awe.

MA: I heart Neville. Oh, I love it.

JN: That is so cute.

SU: That is so...

JN: Well, for the sake of the recording, the banners don't show through very well. But if you do think Harry will go through the veil at some point in Deathly Hallows make some noise right here. (Audience cheers) And if you think that Harry will not go (Audience Member: No!) behind the veil. (Audience cheers)

MA: Everybody is...

SU: Wow.

JN: That's pretty loud.

SU: Pretty loud.

MA: That is so different from what we've been getting. (Audience laughs)

JN: I know.

MA: Ohio: The Obstinate State.

JN: Yes.

MA: Okay.

JN: Number four.

Audience Member: The Swing State.

JN: (laughs) They are the Swing State.

MA: (laughs) The Swing State.

JN: Ohio is very funny.

MA: Where are the hanging chads?

SU: No. We have no chads.

MA: Ohio is funny.

Audience Member: (inaudible)

JN: I don't know. What the hell? Sue? (MA laughs)

SU: I am going to be good. I'll be good.

JN: Yeah.

SU: Okay. Will Harry return to school at Hogwarts? If you think he will attend classes at Hogwarts, make some noise. (Audience cheers)

JN: A "maybe" sign. I like it.

SU: We have a maybe vote.

MA: She even has a "maybe" sign.

SU: It's a happy yellow.

JN: It's a Hufflepuff maybe. They are very indecisive. (MA laughs) They have no opinions. They are like, "Whatever." (MA laughs) "We're Hufflepuffs."

SU: No, we're just easy going.

JN: Yeah.

MA: Maybe she was a mime in a former life. (JN laughs)

SU: If you think that Harry will not return to classes (Audience Member: No!) at Hogwarts? (Audience cheers) Wow. That's pretty definitive.

JN and MA: Okay.

JN: So, lots of noes so far.

MA: Wow. Man.

SU: Check our scoreboard.

JN: While we are doing good on our noes, number three is: Is Harry Potter...

MA: It's okay. You guys are from Ohio. Just do it.

JN: Oh. We're taking away the show. (MA: It's cool.) Is Harry Potter a Horcrux? If you think he is a Horcrux, make your noise here. (Audience cheers)

JN: Perfect. And if you think that Harry is not a Horcrux. (Audience cheers loudly)

SU: Wow. That's pretty definitive.

MA: Five days until you are all right! (laughs) (Audience Member: Six.) Six? I don't know...

JN: I think that for our second to last question I think we need help from a particular audience member.

SU: Yes, yes.

MA: Yeah, yeah, I saw this person.

JN: I think...

MA: Come here.

SU: Come here, sir. Sir, could we...?

JN: If you would be so good... (Audience cheers and boos) (laughs) Well, we have Snape here, and we're all dying to know...

MA: You've got to read the question.

SU: You've got to read the question off the back of... I'm sorry.

Snape: Is Snape good?

JN: Make your noise here. (Audience cheers loudly and JN laughs)

Snape: They sound pretty convinced.

JN: They do!

Snape: Is Snape bad? (Audience cheers weakly and MA bursts out laughing) I'd like to record my vote with the "Uh, duh!" in the back.

MA: For the record, on the recording, the sign is now blue and it says "Uh, duh, duh, duh, duh!"

SU: Come on! (SU and MA laughing)

JN: Big round of applause for Snape! (Audience applauds)

JN: That's crazy; he has his big debut here in five days. He's here in Columbus, Ohio. Who would have thought! (MA laughs)

SU: In my purse...

MA: What's in your purse?

Audience Member: (inaudible)

JN: It is probably.

MA: Man, everything's in Ohio.

SU: Bre, Bre, behind you.

MA: What are you looking for?

SU: My purse. Sorry interrupting this.

JN: Is it a Horcrux? (Audience laughs)

MA: Are you going shopping?

SU: It's a Horcrux! You know what- Sorry, a little shopping.

JN: Can Melissa do the number one?

SU: Yeah!

MA: Sure. Okay, my favorite one ever. If you think Harry is going to die, leave- no, make... (Audience laughs) make noise now. (Audience cheers a bit)

SU: You're cheering for death. Every show, I'm stunned by this!

JN: Yeah.

MA: These are bad people. (JN: Kill the boy!) If you think Harry is going to live. (Audience cheers loudly and long)

JN: Okay, very good. Very good.

MA: I love it. And now, the sign is red and it's just says a big giant "Yes." (SU: That's awesome.) Digging all the rest of them. Awesome. (JN: Oh, God.) Were you a mime in a former life?

SU: She is.

JN: Maybe.

Audience Member: (inaudible)

MA: Oh, Neville...

JN: The quiet ones.

SU: That's awesome.

JN: Well, I think that might have been the loudest we've ever had for Harry lives.

MA: Thank you to our cue card... (Audience cheers loudly)

MA: Thank you to our lovely cue card.

JN: Yes. Thank you, Sarah, for the cue card shirt.

MA: We've been saying that since we're going to have this tie, we're testing to see like John said who's loudest. And you guys had it over New York. Down!

JN: That was pretty damn good, yeah. That was pretty damn good.

MA: I don't know guys, but you have to watch out- Wichita, Kansas is really going to beat you. I'm telling you.

JN: Yeah, we can't raze on Wichita, yet.

MA: I'm not razing on them, they're just less of them I think. We'll see, we'll see.

JN: They've got nothing else going on hopefully so. Maybe they'll all come to the show.

MA: Maybe then, all of Kansas will come to the show.

JN: Like what day of the week is it, it's like a Wednesday?

MA: It's like a (mumbling) Wednesday.

JN: Wednesday show? Well...

MA: It's Wednesday's night.

SU: I don't know!

JN: I don't know.

SU: Your challenge today is...(inaudible)

MA: I'm really curious that's why I'm backing into this, but (JN: It might be bongo night or something.) I'm really curious to see how many Kansans come out, we'll see. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see! Not going to beat Columbus though, man.

SU: Columbus rocks! Columbus- you see, I told you this was a great place!

MA: Geez man. (JN: Rocks out.) All I've seen from Columbus so far is the Mongolian Barbecue.

SU: Yeah.

JN: Oh, yes! I told everybody they were in for a bit of culinary bliss when they have tackled their first Mongolian Barbecue. Did you really? Because Chipotle, the place I usually talk about right across the way, I don't know. I mean, talkin' about good sit-down food, I think Mongolian beats Chipotle. (Audience cheers)

JN: I have to say, I'm very sorry.

Audience Member: It's a Horcrux! (JN and Audience laughs)

JN: A burrito could be a Horcrux.

SU: A burrito is not a Horcrux.

MA: A burrito is not. (JN: I know...) It's just not.

JN: Voldemort doesn't have that good of taste. (Audience laughs)

MA: John would explode.

JN: Yeah, that'd be bad. Well, what else do we usually do at these things? I don't remember.

MA: I don't know guys.

Audience Member: Play games.

JN: It's something to...

MA: No later. See, you're already psyched about the game!

SU: Squee!

MA: Wow. (Audience cheers)

JN: Well I don't want to alarm anybody but we have the guy who invented the game here. It wasn't me.

MA: Nah.

JN: It was my brother-in-law.

SU: Yeah.

JN: He's floating around here somewhere.

MA: Where is he? Where's Steve?

JN: There he is.

Audience: (cheers) Steve! Yay, Steve!

JN: He invented the game. I don't know if anyone's ever heard Steve (MA: On the show...) on a previous PotterCast. He called in on the call-in show. (MA: He surprised the heck out of you...) Any old PotterCast listeners here? Our first Christmas episode? Anyone hear that one? That was a while ago. (small cheers from audience) And remember the "Fah who for-aze" filk? (Audience laughs) That was Steve. (Audience cheers)

Audience Member: Steve!

JN: Everybody has to go look it up after you go home.

MA: Well, speaking- before we do anything- speaking of PotterCast celebrities, who knows about the episode where Mama Noe came on? (Audience cheers)

MA: We have Mama Noe right there. (Audience screams and claps)

JN: I haven't gotten around to listening to that one yet. I heard I probably (SU: No.) ought to.

MA: (laughs) I heard that some more stories they're going to tell about you later.

JN: There's no more stories.

MA: Oh, there are.

JN: That's the end of the stories.

MA: I heard about them at dinner, wait... (laughs)

JN: There are no more.

MA: I'm so excited.

JN: The end of me.

MA: Steve? Right, Steve?

Steve: You bet.

MA: Okay.

JN: Oh, gosh.

MA: Okay, so (JN: Well, Harry Potter stuff...) we usually have our Canon Conundrum right about now.

JN: Yeah! Canon Conundrummings.

SU: Yeah.

Audience Member: Is John a Horcrux?

JN: What's a Horcrux?

MA: Is John a Horcrux. (SU laughs)

JN: I don't know, I don't think... I hope not.

Audience Member: Let's ask Steve! (Audience laughs)

MA: What?

JN: Should we...? (Audience member comments) Yes.

MA: What did you say?

Mama Noe: I hope not.

MA: I really hope not, Mrs. Noe.

JN: We'll have to ask Snape if I'm a Horcrux. Who thinks Snape knows about the Horcruxes?

Audience Members: (claps) No! Yes! No!

Audience Member: He helped Dumbledore after Dumbledore got...

MA: I feel like, (JN: Yeah.) I'm sorry, I feel like you're like a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. (JN laughs) You're so funny. Every time there's something, you're like, "Yeah! Yeah! Big money!" (Audience laughs)

JN: He's gonna hear himself on the recording.

MA: It's great, it's great, I love it. (JN: Yeah.) I love it. I think it's awesome.

JN: Yeah, weren't we just talking about if Snape knew about the Horcruxes from Voldemort or if he knew about it from Dumbledore when Dumbledore figured it out? It's a very tricky thing. Not our conundrum today, maybe next time. Because if Snape knew about it from Voldemort, then wouldn't he have told Dumbledore about it and wouldn't Dumbledore be aware of the Horcruxes prior to when he tells us he is.

MA: Maybe Dumbledore told Snape.

Audience Member: That's only if Snape is good.

JN: That is only if Snape is good.

MA: That is only if Snape is good, ooh. Um, can we do a little public service announcement?

JN: A little PSA? (Audience claps)

MA: No, no, no, no, no. (Audience groans) I know we don't have a new one from Harry and the Potters.

JN: No.

MA: This is for real public service announcement.

JN: Oh!

MA: For real public service announcement.

JN: Okay.

MA: It's the same message, though. Don't spoil. We're getting close now. I know there's stuff that (JN: Oh, gosh.) may or may not be true out there if you hit the Internet. I know this (JN: Be very careful.) is about the time that you guys you have to start being careful.

SU: Very careful.

MA: Because we don't know what's true and what's not, but all we know is that all of it is getting sent to us regularly. It's all over LiveJournal, it's on Facebook, it's on YouTube, it's on MySpace. So, just FYI, (JN: Be very careful.) be careful.

Audience Member: Constant vigilance.

MA: Constant (JN: Exactly.) vigilance. (Audience laughs and claps)

SU: That's right. There it is.

JN: There it is.

SU: And from a Slytherin, no doubt too. See? They can be good.

JN: Mad-Eye was a Slytherin.

SU: Huh?!

JN: Mad-Eye Moody was a Slytherin, wasn't he?

SU: What?!

JN: Don't you think Mad-Eye Moody was a Slytherin?

SU and audience: No...

MA: No, Mad-Eye Moody is a total Gryffindor.

JN: No...

SU: Yeah!

MA: The guy lost a chunk of his nose.

Audience Member: You're thinking of Dawlish! (MA and JN laugh loudly)

JN: Dawlish was head boy of Slytherin house. (Audience laughs)

SU: I always thought that was. How many of you yelled when Dawlish came on the screen during (Audience cheers) the movie?

JN: Yes! I bring good news, speaking with David Yates after the premiere.

SU: Oh, no.