PotterCast #101: San Francisco, CA! Transcript

Part 1 (0:00 - 16:25)

John Noe (JN): Fred says hello too. (high-pitched voice) "Hey everybody!" (Audience cheers)

Melissa Anelli (MA): Who here all ready knows about Fred?

JN: (high-pitched voice) "It's a little cooler up here. It's not as hot."

MA: Have you met Fred? (Audience laughs)

JN: (high-pitched voice) "I like it."

MA: It is cooler up here. (JN: Yeah.) We've just come from (laughs) where?


JN: We've been some pretty hot places.

MA: Phoenix, Tucson, (JN: Albuquerque.) Albuquerque, thank you. (JN: Vegas.) Vegas...


JN: L.A. was a little cooler.

MA: ...Los Angeles, San Diego.

JN: Yeah, San Diego.

MA: What else?

JN: I think that might be it, I guess. I don't know. (MA: Santa Fe.) Santa Fe.


MA: We didn't do a show in Santa Fe. We just got lost (JN: Yeah.) a lot.

JN: We did Chicago a while ago too.

MA: We don't have Sue with us here today. We're very sorry. (Audience: Aw!) (JN: Aw.) I know. (JN: Is there a...) Say, "Hi Sue!"


Audience: Hi Sue! (cheers)

Audience member: Hufflepuff!

JN: Well, luckily, this is our last one without her.

MA: Yeah. She'll be back.

JN: So, she'll be back for the rest of them. But, so we usually say welcome to the city, but we're the ones that are coming, so (MA: Every time we sit down.) always stupid.


MA: We're like, "Welcome to San Francisco!" Yeah, no. Mm.

JN: Yeah, thanks for coming to your own city. (Audience laughs and applauds)

MA: (laughs) Thanks for coming!


JN: But, thanks for waiting for us anyway.

MA: Well, thanks for waiting for us. (Audience laughs and applauds)

JN: I was the one that got the privilege to drive the entire trip from L.A. So, I'm not the fastest of drivers, I suppose. But, oh my God, we almost got pulled over. (Audience laughs) And I had just got a speeding ticket not that long ago so I was all freaking out. (MA: So true.) But the guy behind us, the cop had his sirens on, and he's all yelling at me during his- with his little speaker and I'm like, "Okay, okay. I'll pull over!" And he's all like, "No, no! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!" (Audience laughs) and he was trying to go past me, (MA: No, no.) so I'm like, "Oh my God."


MA: No, (laughs) 'cause John starts- we're in the left side. So, when the siren, you're supposed to go to the right. So, John starts going to the left. (JN: Like I'm gonna...) And the cop was like, "To the right! To the right!" So, he starts (laughs) going to the right. And he goes, "There! Now you got it!" (laughs) "I thought you could!" (Audience laughs) (JN: Yeah, I was like, "Hey!") On the highway, so...


JN: And I had just handed the wheel over to Fred, too, (Audience laughs) so I- Fred has just got his license. He's still getting used to his programming, so...

MA: For those who don't know Fred, he's our happy armadillo that we picked up in Phoenix. (JN: Yes.) He's made an appearance on almost every (JN: Yeah, almost every.) of our live podcasts to date. How many of you have been listening to the shows as they go up on PotterCast.com? (Audience cheers) (JN: Awesome.) Okay, so no surprises for you here today at all. What are we going to do first?


JN: What was the last one we put up, anyway?

MA: I'm gonna ask them- what are we gonna do first?

Audience member: Say, "Hi."

MA: Well, we did that. (Audience laughs) We said, "Hi."

JN: Yes. (laughs) We said hi. We'll say hi again.

MA: What?

Audience member: Five questions!

MA: Five questions! (JN: Woo!) 'Cause we have to figure out which city that we go to knew their Harry Potter the best.


Audience members: It's us! It's us!

MA: I'll ask anyway!

JN: I've been saying all along that it was going to be San Francisco. (Audience cheers) Wasn't I?


MA: He has. He has. Who thinks John's right? (Audience cheers) (JN: Yeah.) I don't know. Tucson might have been louder. Who thinks John's right? (Audience cheers)

JN: Who thinks John's wrong? (MAand audience laugh) Aw! No one's gonna yell for that.


MA: I like screaming myself hoarse!

JN: "Oh, I guess somebody might be smarter." The low self-esteem person in the crowd. (Audience laughs)

MA: (laughs) All right, yeah. (JN: Aw.) Well, our first big predictions exam- and by the way, if you want to prove that you know the most about Harry Potter and we know that you probably think you do, (JN: Yeah.) (laughs) go to our website at Leaky and we have a test that currently has 400 questions.


JN: The ultimate. (MA: The ultimate.) The ultimate Deathly Hallows exam. (MA: Yeah.) Don't we have a fancy little address like dhexam.leakynews.com?


MA: I always forget what it is. It's leakynews.com/book7exam, I think...

JN: Yeah, something like that.

MA: ...dhexam?

JN: Yeah, you'll find it. You'll find it.


MA: There's a link somewhere.

JN: Leakynews.com (MA laughs) will find it for you.

MA: And it shortly will have 500 questions (JN: Yes.) and when it's done, when the book is out, we will grade this test and will discover which of the now more than 45,000 people who have taken it (JN: Excellent.) was the el predictor. (JN: Yeah.) And it turns out to be Cheryl Klein from Scholastic then we're gonna have a problem. (JN: Yes.) (MA and audience laugh) (JN: Yeah.) She threatened to take it. We were like, "Just don't." (JN: Yeah.) "Just don't do it."


JN: User name hotcheryl4500 does not qualify. (laughs)

MA: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so, our first- I'm sorry? Okay. Our first question in our big five question prediction exam is, of course- should we save the big one for last? Why do we always to the big one first?

JN: I don't know. We're very anti-climatic on (MA: We are!) PotterCast, so.


MA: (laughs) Okay, we're going to switch it up. We're going to do the last one first. (JN: Oh, fancy.) Oh, fancy. Who thinks that during this book, we will see the other side of the veil? (Audience starts to clap) Ah, ah! You guys are all psyched. Ready? If you think so... (Audience claps)


JN: If you think not and that's ridiculous. (Audience laughs)

MA: Wow, you guys are so pro-veil. Wow.

JN: San Francisco enjoys the veil I guess. I don't know.

MA: Okay. Okay. Okay. So we're going backwards, this is challenging my memory.


JN: Do not walk into the veil on your own accord. That's my advice of the day.

MA: We saw the movie last night. We can't really talk about it yet.

JN: We can't talk about it yet though.

MA: What day does this show go up?

Audience member: The eleventh.


JN: Really?

MA: The eleventh? They know? Seriously?

JN: No, no, no. I was thinking, Wow, they got into our internal files here." (MA: No, no, no. We were trying…) No, when this episode is going to go online is what we are trying to figure out. (MA: Because we are a little behind.) We still can't talk about it yet.


MA: Probably still can't talk about it.

JN: It's pretty darn cool we will say that much. Anyway. Oh, will Harry, just Harry, return to school for classes in Deathly Hallows? If you think he will, say something loud. (Audience members cheer) (MA: Whoa.) See. Heck no, heck no.

MA: You know what is happening? Everybody is listening to the other shows and they're all making up their minds so now we are getting the same answers in (JN: Identical cities.) every city. We've got to switch- well we can't switch it up now.


JN: I know. We have to add another question.

MA: There will be a tie breaker at the end.

JN: All right, well, if you think that Harry will be not returning to school for class make your noise here. (Audience applauds)

JN: All right. Harry dropped out, very sad pandas.

MA: We are not going to do that joke again. (JN: Nope.) (Audience laughs) Do you know which joke we are talking about already? We're not going to repeat it. You'll hear it on another PotterCast.


JN: (sings) Hogwart's school drop out. (MA: Okay.) Okay, number three was if really you think that Harry is a Horcrux, make your embarrassing cheering here. (Audience cheers)

JN: If you think Harry and his scar- nothing of Harry is a Horcrux make your noise here. (Audience cheers)

MA: John actually said something very good in the car that we were talking- (JN: Yes.) here is the "anti-Harry is a Horcrux" theory right here. (JN: Yeah.) If Voldemort can't even stand to be inside Harry to possess him for five seconds in Order of the Phoenix the book, right, how does his soul hang out there for sixteen years (JN: Yeah.) or seventeen years. He's not a Horcrux, come on.


JN: No way.

Audience member: Then how is Harry going to get him?

MA: Okay.

JN: Harry is going to get him through their mind link. He is going to do Professor Xavier powers through the link. (Audience laughs) It's going to be crippling him from within and unhinging his mind with all of this love. It's going to be brilliant.


MA: And we are going to sing "Kumbaya." (Audience laughs) Okay, second to last question.

JN: No, no, no. Number two.

MA: Second to last question.

JN: Oh, I thought you said it was the last question.


MA: Hold on, we've got a prop for this one.

JN: ROFL. Oh, here it comes. I love this music.

MA: (hums) It's Kung Fu Snape, everybody. (Audience members laugh) Sue has a whole song. You'll see it on one of the blogs. Is it on yet?


JN: (sings) "Everybody was Kung Fu Snaping." (Audience members laughs) I don't know if it is yet, but coming soon.

MA: Okay, so anyway, here is our Mr. Snape and our question is, is he good or is he evil? So, if you think good... (Audience applauds)

JN: Wow. If you think he is a very bad man... (Audience members applaud)

JN: Wow, San Francisco trusts Snape.

MA: Pro-Snape in San Francisco. (Audience members: Yeah!) Why do you think this is? Why?

Audience member: We love everyone.

MA: (laughs)You love everyone. (JN laughs)

Audience member: Everyone's accepted.

JN: Yes.

MA: I'm leaving that alone. (Audience laughs)

JN: And then our final question, the big question which you have all probably guessed by now is will Harry walk out of this one alive? If you think he'll survive Deathly Hallows make your noise here. (Audience cheers)

JN: Smart. If you think Harry will see the end of his days in Deathly Hallows make your noise here. (Audience members applaud)

MA: This is when we tell those people to get out of here.

JN: There's the door. Thanks for coming.

MA: Thanks for coming. No. (JN: No.) No, no, I see you green shirt, no. (JN: LOL.) I saw you cheer.


JN: Ha, ha, well cool we'll tally those votes and see if San Francisco is the grand champion.

MA: We're going to have to start adding another question. (JN: All right. Okay, okay.) Maybe at the next show we will start adding another question and then for the other cities they can just write in and we'll take a percentage because we are going to need a tie breaker, you guys are all saying the same things now.

JN: How about this, this will be interesting. The next headmaster of Hogwarts okay, if you think it is going to be Hagrid. (MA: We already...)No? (Audience laughs)


MA: "Shouldn't have told you that." Come on.

Audience member: Maybe Dawlish.

JN: Yes, Dawlish. (MA: (unintelligible) can tell you that.) Little did anybody know, Dawlish had years of teaching experience that nobody was aware of.


MA: Seriously nobody. (JN: Yes. Even him.) Okay, were you seriously asking that question?

JN: Well no, that one's obviously McGonagall, but...

MA: Unless she gets toasted which is totally possible. (JN: No.) I don't think she will.


JN: What if McGonagall and Snape are the same person. (Audience laughs)

MA: Did you all hear that from Albuquerque? We're sorry, poor Albuquerque, we left Albuquerque and we are just making fun of it left and right.

JN: No, just that one person.

MA: Yeah, just that one person.

JN: He will be sending emails shortly.


MA: No it was a she.

JN: Oh, sadness.

MA: Yeah. Anyway.

JN: Anyway, this is the part where we usually say, "Public Service Announcement," but we're done with Harry and the Potters.


All: Aw.

MA: Yeah. (JN: Sad.) Wait until you hear the Los Angeles show. Their (JN: Oh, my gosh.) Public Service Announcements were the best yet.


JN: Well, speaking of the Los Angeles show, this was very interesting, because our Canon Conundrum for the Los Angeles show was all about the motto of Hogwarts, "Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon," and the possibility of Hogwarts fighting back from an attack on its walls and its students and everything, and I don't know how many of you have been online today, but there was a very interesting bit of info to go on the Bloomsbury website, from Stephen Fry, who had a little hello to say to everybody.

MA: Yeah, and he basically just talked about the audiobook, and how you can buy (JN: Mm-hm.) the British edition audiobook on the same day of release for the first time ever- which is nice, you know, because (JN: It's huge!) it has to effect sales, waiting- anyway, so at the end, he said, "Well, I can't tell you anything about the book, but I will say this: Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus." He just said the school motto. That's the only thing he would say about the whole book, (JN: Yeah.) so clearly, it's important.


JN: If that was his one message to make, the school motto, it really should have everybody thinking about that, and what that means, and what that is going to mean for everybody in Deathly Hallows. (MA: Yeah.) Because I think that is a big- it really pushes the idea that the school is the sleeping dragon, that you don't mess with the school and the people inside of it, and I think we're ready to see a big battle on the Hogwarts grounds, so...

MA: What do you guys think about that? Hogwarts grounds, yeah? (Audience cheers) Hogwarts grounds, big huge- all the creatures come out, we keep joking about the house-elves (JN: Yeah.) riding out on horseback, (Audience laughs) (JN: Mm.) you know, Harry on their banner.


JN: Well, they better not get too close to Dumbledore's tomb-slash-memorial there, or those Death Eaters are probably gonna find themselves in bad shape, because I bet there's all kinds of enchantments on that thing. (MA: Really?) Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. (MA: It's just stone.) Dumbledore's, you know, um, I don't know, I don't know where I'm going with this. (All laugh)

MA: He's done, he's out.

JN: I give up.

MA: Nah. (JN: Take it away, Fred.) I don't think so, it's just, there's nothing in there anymore, it's just, (JN: Yeah, that's true.) it's just the, (JN: Well.) well, (whispers) the body. (JN: LOL.) Ew.


JN: What now? Conundrum time?

MA: We're gonna talk about motto at all? You don't wanna hear people's thoughts?

JN: Well, I mean, the people- I guess you guys haven't heard it, but people at home will have just heard that whole big half-hour conversation about the motto, but...

MA: Well, who thinks they have the best theory about what the motto could really mean, stand for? (JN: Yeah.) Who's not given it any thought at all until now? Yeah, I hear that. (JN: Yeah, lots.) (Audience laughs) I hear that. No, totally. Well, this is usually the time where we do a Canon Conundrums, but in our mad rush to get here on time, we haven't chosen...


JN: We don't know what Canon Conundrum to talk about today (MA: ...one yet.) so we're not gonna do any.

MA: So, not gonna do any. (JN: Just kidding.) No, no, no, we're kidding, we're kidding. (JN laughs) We're gonna take five or six of your suggestions, and then pick one. So I know you've got one. What Conundrum would you like to do?


Laurie: When Dumbledore drank the potion when he was getting the Horcrux, he was having some sort of nasty vision, (MA: That's a good one.) "Don't hurt them, hurt me," and that strikes me...

MA: That's a good one! I wanna do hers, and not take any more suggestions.


JN: No! (Audience laughs)

Laurie: Like Harry, because when we were in there, Harry was like, "Let me drink the potion, (MA: Yeah, yeah.) let me cut myself," so at the end, there we are.


MA: I agree.

JN: Owie.

Laurie: Yeah.

MA: Okay, who's got one that they want to hear?

JN: Let's take some more. It's a very, very good one, though. Anybody want to...


MA: Everybody's like, "Do hers!" (Audience laughs) I think we should- okay, just, what's your name?

Laurie: Laurie.

MA: Laurie brought up the moment in Half-Blood Prince when Dumbledore is drinking the potion, and he's having that horrible vision, the horrible moment. He's saying "Don't hurt them, don't hurt them." Actually, anybody got a copy of the book on them?


JN: I don't know if a Borders would have Half-Blood Prince in it, would it?

MA: I was just gonna say, she does! Well, I knew somebody right here would have it. Who wants to do a dramatic reading? You wanna do it? Come up, there's a microphone right there.

JN: Very dramatic reading!

MA: Gotta find the page, so (hums) doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. (JN: No!) Doo-doo. Doo-doo. Doo-doo. "I am not worried, I am with you," best line ever. Hold on. (JN: Yeah.) Here it is.


JN: "I'm not afraid, I am with you, Harry, and I'm gonna keep you frozen while I get killed." (Audience laughs)

MA: That's the point! We'll talk about that in a moment. John, I'm looking here, pick it up. (JN: Okay.) Talk about something. Do a dance.


JN: I like watching her look for things. Well, it's interesting, because one of the questions that Jo has refused to answer about Dumbledore is what his Boggart would be. And your Boggart is what you're most afraid of. So some people wonder if this potion is like some liquified Boggart thingy having something to do with it, having something to do with making you replay something you're terrified of, and intensified. Because you can't think that even if Dumbledore would normally come across a Boggart, he wouldn't crumble to pieces, no matter what it is, because Dumbledore, he's an old man, he's live a long time, and he's been around long enough to not freak out at seeing what he's most feared of. So you'd think that this potion would take that, and intensify it to something overwhelming, and (MA: You can stop talking now.) Lord knows what would have happened if Harry would have taken it. LOL. (Audience laughs)