PotterCast 99: San Diego Live! Transcript

Part 1 (0:00 - 17:15)

Melissa Anelli (MA): So, welcome. We're very happy to be in San Diego because it's much nicer in the weather (JN: Yes.) than some of the places we've been. We always start our little tour shows here with a little predictions exam. (JN: Mm-hm.) I don't know if you guys think that San Diego has it. That you guys know Harry Potter best, and come July 22nd, you'll win our little predictions test.

John Noe (JN): Yeah.

MA: Yeah? (Audience: Yeah!) Really? That didn't sound so convincing. (audience laughs) San Diego has it! (Audience: Yeah!) (audience cheers) Okay, you guys claim to know your Harry Potter. (JN: All right, well, geez.) John's going to hit you with the first question.

JN: Okay, question number one, the biggest question of the whole everything. Will Harry survive Book Seven? If you think he will, cheer when I say three, two, one, cheer. (audience cheers) And if you think that he will die by the end of the book, cheer right here.

Audience member: Yeah! (audience cheers and laughs)

JN: A few.

MA: I liked him until that.

JN: A few.

MA: I did. He's wearing a PotterCast shirt and a Rent jacket, I can't not like him, but now you think that Harry's going to die. We can't be friends. (JN: Aw, sad.) (laughs) Tear. He's doing the tear. Okay, okay. We'll see. So, you guys think that Harry's going to live. (JN: Okay, all right.) Snape. If he's good make some noise. (audience cheers) If he's a very bad man.

Audience member: Woo! (some audience members laugh)

JN: No one thinks he's a very bad man!

MA: Well, she was going to say something, but her friend covered her mouth. (JN: Aw.) Notice her friend is a Hufflepuff.

JN: Yes, well.

MA: This goes out to Sue. (JN: Squee!) Very nice. Sue had a personal commitment, but she'll be back with us next week.

JN: Yep.

MA: We miss her.

JN: We miss her. (MA: Number three.) I think that was the first time a city has ever had almost next to no noise for Snape is a very bad man. That's something. That says something.

MA: A couple of spoil-sports ruining the fun.

JN: Hm. Well, number three was about, was it about Hogwarts? Oh! Is Mr. Harry a Horcrux? If you think he is a Horcrux, make your noise here. (Audience member: Woo.) Very little noise. If he's not a Horcrux. (audience members cheer)

MA: Oh, short, but enthusiastic. Very nice.

JN: Right to the point.

MA: Right to the point here in San Diego. We like it.

JN: San Diego. He's not a Horcrux.

MA: Number four, will Harry return to go to school at Hogwarts? If you think yes. (Audience: Woo.) (laughs) If you think no. (audience cheers)

JN: No more school for Mr. Potter.

MA: No more school.

JN: Sad, and...

MA: The last one. So, this is our last shot.

JN: Number five. Will Grubbly-Plank become the next headmaster of Hogwarts (audience laughs) with captive imagery?

MA: I'm glad to see you guys are familiar with this very new development. There was Dawlish, and then there was Tony Maudsley. And now he's obsessed with Grubbly-Plank.

JN: Grubbly-Plank! Oh, I love the poster.

MA: The sign, "Dawlish is my homeboy." That's amazing.

JN: That's awesome.

MA: Have you seen the Dark Mark? Check out the Dark Mark.

JN: A purple and pink Dark Mark.

MA: Purple and pink.

JN: Nice.

MA: It's like Barbie hit the Dark Mark.

JN and MA: Aw.

MA: Hey, Noe, I like your show.

JN: I like it. I'm so dumb, I thought it said shoe for a second. (MA laughs) Well, I guess they're pretty cool. Kinda old.

MA: Yeah. What's that sign over there? It's a nice sign. Do you see? Oh, thank you because there was the squee there.

JN: Melissa had to make sure we saw it.

MA: I don't know. There was a squee, and there's a Bre sign.

JN: (laughs) Oh, Bre!

MA: There's something for everybody on that sign.

JN: Yeah, aw.

MA: It's really nice.

JN: I like it.

MA: Thank you, guys. You guys are enthusiastic. (JN: Yeah.) Okay, fifth question.

JN: What was number five?

MA: Will we go and see behind the veil? If you think so, right now. (audience cheers) If you don't think so.

Audience member: Woo.

Audience member: No.

JN: See, I swear almost every city has thought that we will. And I don't think we will.

MA: I don't know. We- you know?

JN: I don't understand what the point would be except other than to kick Voldemort through it. I don't think you can go there and come back.

MA: I said in another city that we can kick Percy through it, and I'm fine with that, too. (JN: Yeah.) We can have Grawp kicking Percy through it then I'm okay with that. I don't know what lately this week I've been down on Percy. He's been redeemable (JN: Yeah.) in my books. But for some reason, I think it's all the heat.

JN: Sadness. Poor Percy.

MA: Well, we have a Canon Conundrum for you all that we just... (JN: Ooh.) I'm going to decide right now (JN: Do we?) (MA and JN laugh) because we never decided in the car.

JN: Anyone know what a canon conundrum is? (audience cheers) Anybody who doesn't, it's a little bit- you don't have to tell us.

MA: Frak! You know what a canon conundrum is! (JN: Frak!) Frak who makes our... (JN: Rabble-rouser.) Rabble-rouser.

JN: Okay, the Canon Conundrum is a conundrum about the canon. (audience laughs) Hm, what do you know? The canon being anything from the books or anything that J.K. Rowling has said officially in some sort of capacity that is a fact about the books. What else? A conundrum is a topic that we don't really know what the hell's going on...

MA: A conundrum is...

JN: Second question. I'm flustered, I can't hear myself.

MA: I noticed. (JN: I have to find it.) It's something we have to figure out about the final book about the remaining canon, like "Is Harry a Horcrux?" and that kind of thing. (JN: Yeah.) We just heard today (JN: Yes. Oh, yeah.) Yeah! Oh, yeah. (JN: I remember, now) Okay. I said in the car, "Why don't we do this as a Canon Conundrum." You went "er." So, okay. There was a character that the people in the movie- for the fifth movie- wanted to cut out. And Jo said to them, "Don't! You're going to tie yourself in knots if you do this, don't do it." And we were all "Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?"

JN: It had to be Dawlish. Because...

MA: And this is like...

JN: Because Dawlish; the role he will play (MA: Clearly.) will blow all your minds.

MA: So, who is it? Is it Kreacher? Is it Grawp? Everybody's discussing it, you know. And then, (laughs) they had as this press conference and they made this big secret out of it. David Heyman and David Yates and all of them. Then, David Yates sits down with MTV and he goes, "Oh, yeah, it was Kreacher." So, now we now that Kreacher has a somewhat significant role to play in Book Seven. So, we want to discuss what that role might be.

JN: What will be the role of Kreacher in Deathly Hallows? That will be our Canon Conundrum today.

Audience member: He's going to have a Horcrux in his hole.

MA: Do you think Kreacher has a Horcrux in that little lair up there? Do you think he has the locket?

Audience member: I think so, yeah.

JN: The locket that they were looking for in Half Blood Prince ended up being some other crazy locket?

MA: They had the locket that Harry touched in Book Five.

JN: They had a locket they couldn't open in Order of the Phoenix.

MA: Did that strike anybody on first read, too? A heavy locket that none of them could open. It's like a J.K. Rowling hint. (JN: Yeah.) Mystery! Mystery! You know? And sure enough, a book later, it was the locket.

JN: But notice it wasn't a heavy locket that none of them could open that almost burned all their hands off until they died. Notice that? So, that's just...

MA: That might have been a little more noticeable. I don't know.

JN: Yeah, definitely. So, the Hor-

MA: Yeah, but here's the thing. Okay. If you can't get rid of Kreacher- because notice in a movie, if it's just that Kreacher has a Horcrux, right? They could do that another way. Molly finds it while she's cleaning out pots and pans in Grimmauld Place. Like, you know, there's a million ways to do it! (JN: Uh-huh.) So, why do you need Kreacher specifically? What piece of information does he have? Is he, being Harry's, going to be an irreplaceable bit of canon? Will he, just by the fact that he has to obey Harry, lead them to something? (JN: Hm.) John? Who clearly knows.

JN: I'm thinking about the cover from the U.K. edition where we see something that looks like a little house-elf/goblin/something out there.

MA: House-elf/something.

JN: Could it be Kreacher?

MA: I think it's Kreacher.

JN: Could it be Griphook? Could it be Dobby?

MA: Could it be Verne Troyer? Mini Me.

JN: Yeah, you would be thrilled at that.

MA: Don't you ever wonder why they cast Griphook in the first movie? It's the weirdest character to keep in.

JN: (Griphook voice) Key, please! (MA: Yeah, we're going to cut... Yeah!) Lamp, please!

MA: (laughs) We're going to cut everything. (JN: Brilliant delivery.) But don't lose Griphook!

JN: (makes a creaking door close) They can't see that at home. (MA: Thank you for recreating.) That's an exclusive for you guys.

MA: The worst noise ever.

JN: That was my Griphook.

MA: Thank you for making sure we got it.

JN: My finger on the door. Griphook opening the door. It's hot.

MA: Now, you know what it's like in the car.

JN: Aw. Where were we?

MA: Kreacher!

JN: If Kreacher is hanging out with the trio and they're going on the Horcrux hunt, why? And why couldn't Dobby do these things? What is it about Kreacher that makes him so useful?

MA: Well, Dobby is not Harry's, per se.

JN: Well, he'd do whatever Harry wanted him to do.

MA: He would. He's free! Dobby is free! (laughs)

JN: Free! (MA: Free!) If they needed a house-elf with them for any particular reason, you'd think Harry would be like "screw it, I want Dobby with me. I'll pay him whatever I need to. I'm not going to have the Kreacher with me." So, it's like they must want- Kreacher is so much older, we think, than Dobby because he's so haggard looking. (audience laughs) Maybe he's amassed more knowledge from being in the Black family about where he can find dark objects and things.

MA: But it's going to be really funny whenever Harry tries to get it from him. (JN: Yeah.) Kreacher's going to go around ripping his ears off to try to stop himself. But who thinks that it is him on the front cover? Yes? Of the U.K. edition? (JN: Yeah.) Do you think he's pulling them back? Or pushing them forward? What do you think he's doing there with the sword of Gryffindor in his hand?

JN: He's about ready to stab Ron wasn't he? (audience laughs) That would be frightening.

MA: It was Ron's hand, didn't you know?

JN: Was it now?

MA: No, people thought when it came out that it was Ron's hand.

JN: That's what I thought, too, originally!

MA: Yeah. No, you're wrong.

JN: I'm like "look at Ron and his sword! That's so cool! We're going to get to see him do things!"

MA: His hand is all gross! And there was an ear coming out from behind Harry.

JN: Well, that could have been one of those hats. (audience laughs) Like you go to Disney and you have mouse ears? Harry could have went somewhere with the elves (MA: And got an elf-ear...) and got an elf-ear hat?

MA: And a Gryffindor sword?

JN: I'd love to go to House-elf Land. (audience laughs) That would be so fun!

MA: What? (Audience member: Will House-elf Land be part of the theme park?) Will House-elf Land be part of the theme park? Come on, John. Put your idea in. Get in touch with Stuart Craig. (JN: Hmmm. I'm going to write that one down.) House-elf Land. Eclairs appearing out of everywhere.

JN: You'd have all these Hufflepuffs with whips making sure they stay in line. (audience laughs) That would be awesome!

MA: I'm affronted for Sue, who is not here. (mimicking Sue) "No!" I'm going to do a Sue. "No, John! No"

JN: (mimicking Sue) "Not enslaved!"

MA: She does. This is what happens in the car.

JN: (mimicking Sue) She freed them! (laughter) And consequently, they are now working at Hogwarts for no pay. But "they're free!"

MA: (laughing) But they're free. She freed them. In case you're not familiar...I'm sorry we're doing all those inside jokes. John maintains to Sue, who is a mega-mega-mega Hufflepuff- (Audience member: Squee!) Nice, nice shirt- That Helga Hufflepuff enslaved the house-elves. (JN: Yes.) Which is a piece of information that he gleaned when J.K. Rowling's website said that Helga Hufflepuff specialized in food and whatnot. (JN: Yes.) So, he assumed that since they cook all the food at Hogwarts that she enslaved them. And she's responsible.

JN: They're there for no pay.

MA: Okay, I get it. You don't have to explain it to me.

JN: They're not free elves.

MA: They get free housing. (JN: Yeah.) But Sue- he does this just to torture Sue and me.

JN: I don't know, I think we're going to figure that our for sure one way or another in Deathly Hallows. (MA: Oh, yeah?) Those elves would leave if they knew any better.

MA: I'm sorry, who wrote this on your foot. (JN: Who do you think?) (laughs) It says "foot LOL." (audience laughs)

JN: Yes. Just in case I forget where my parts are. (MA laughs) It's my foot. (MA: Arm is up here.) Yes? What's that?

Audience member: Does that seem to be a problem, you forget where your parts are?

JN: Every once and a while.

MA: We've found all sorts of problems in the last week, let me tell you. Spending twenty-four hours a day with each other.

JN: Aw.

MA: Aw.

JN: Sadness. Aw.

MA: Aw.

Audience member: LOL.

JN: LOL. (MA laughs) Where were we I'm so confused?

MA: Okay, Canon Conundrums. I'm confused.

JN: These conundrums get conundruming me.

MA: Okay, Kreacher, Kreacher, Kreacher, Kreacher, Kreacher, Kreacher.

JN: Kreacher, Kreacher, Kreacher.

Audience member: Regulus Black. He knows something about the locket.

MA: He's dead.

JN: He's not dead.

MA: He's dead.

JN: Wrong.

MA: Dead.

JN: He's alive.

MA: He's so dead.

JN: What point would it be if he's was dead?

MA: He's dead.

JN: So why would we read, suddenly see like, oh by the way I got this, I'm looking for Horcruxes too signed R.A.B. the dead guy. That's going to have no relevance?

MA: No, we'll find out.

JN: He's alive and he makes everyone think that he's dead. Including Voldemort who would come the heck after him if he knew he was alive.

MA: I don't know, I just think it's a little weird a little cheap.

JN: I don't know what purpose there would be to introduce him and to have him be dead.

MA: Because Sirius seems well-confused, well-convinced that he's dead. And not only that. (JN: All of them do.) And not only that, when J.K. Rowling was asked about Regulus, way before we knew about R.A.B., she said "well, he's dead so he's pretty quiet these days." And she may be tricky in interviews, but she never lies. So, he's dead.

JN: So, he's pretty quiet these days, is that exactly what she said? Because that's pretty telling on it's own.

MA: She said well he's dead, so he's pretty quiet these days. (JN: She could say...) Well, he's dead, so he's pretty quiet these days. (JN: I don't know.) She doesn't lie! (JN: Nope, I think...) You're delusional.

JN: She couldn't tell you. It was such a huge reveal for Book Seven she not going to say (MA: She doesn't lie!) he might be dead.

MA: She would say, somebody asked her what's the deal with Regulus? She didn't have to say he's dead. And this was before we even heard of him in the book!

Audience member: What about a ghost?

MA: He could be a ghost. He could be any form post-lifely.

JN: Sure. I think we're going to hearing from Mr. Regulus.

MA: I'm sure we'll be hearing from him, but he's dead! The same way we're going to be hearing from Sirius in some way.

JN: I don't think he's going to be that.

MA: She said he's dead!

JN: I don't think that that matters.

MA: It does matter! (audience laughs) She doesn't lie.

JN: I don't think she'd say one way or the other.

MA: She did say one way or the other, get over it!

JN: I don't think she meant it, though; I think she was just kidding.

MA: She doesn't lie. She doesn't say- if she does ever say one way or the other, she's being serious. When she doesn't say one way or the other, it's when she can't, you know. And even Sirius says that he was sure he was murdered. He wasn't important enough to be murdered by Lord Voldemort, which pretty much means that they probably...

JN: But, it's so not definitive in the books. (MA: But she said he's dead!) Aside from what she says, in the books (MA: That so doesn't matter.) It's very not definitive.

MA: He's dead John.

JN: It's like, "oh we think he's dead. Oh, we think he's dead."

MA: Oh, my God. We're going to get off this topic. He's dead.

JN: You say he's dead, I say he's not dead. We'll see.

MA: Do you ever? (JN: We'll see.) She has never once lied in an interview. Ever! (JN: Mm.) She would never offer up the information that he's dead if there was even a chance that he wasn't.

JN: What would happen if she said, (MA: Well, there's flashbacks.) "oh, I don't want to talk about him."

MA: She says that to many questions.

JN: Well, she said that about him.

MA: Will Harry time-travel, again? "No comment." Who was there the night at Godrick's Hollow? "No comment."

JN: She "no comments" a lot, and the "no comments" mean something significant.

MA: Right! But, when she says "oh, here's the answer," that's the answer! (JN: Mm.) Sorry, I get very heated. He annoys the hell out of me.

Audience member: If he was alive, would Kreacher go to Sirius?

MA: Thank you very much!

JN: You know I'm sure Regulus in all of his Horcrux hunting knows how to turn off the spells on a house. (MA sighs) (audience laughs)

MA: If he was alive, maybe Kreacher then wouldn't have gone to Sirius. The only way, the only way- no, she still said he's dead- was if he made a Horcrux.

Audience member: He could be in a picture.

MA: (to audience member) I'm sorry. There are plenty of ways that we could hear from him. He could be in a picture. He could be, you know, we could see a memory, we could see a flashback. There's so much.

JN: I think he's alive.

MA: Okay, can we move on please? Thank you, twenty minutes after the Regulus discussion.

JN: I can't wait to get to that part in the book where we see him talking and running around. I'm going to call you up and be like, did you see that?

MA: Call me up? I'm going to be sitting right next to you.

JN: Well, okay. (MA laughs) I'm going to come over here and pop you one.

MA: And he'll still be dead. It'll be a memory or a flashback, or a time-travel. He'll be dead!

JN: Maybe he's in another dimension.

MA: And if he's not dead, then we have Jo to blame, right? She said he's dead. We believe her. Unlike you.

JN: I believe Jo.

MA: Can you see why?

JN: I believe Jo.

MA: Can anyone think of something she's lied about in an interview ever?

JN: I wouldn't even call that a lie.

MA: That's a lie my friend.

JN: I wouldn't call that a lie.

MA: He's dead.

JN: Hm.

MA: He's dead.

JN: Maybe. I don't think so.

MA: Okay, I'm bored. Are you bored of this conversation? I am completely bored.

JN: Aw, pandas.

MA: Kreacher, anybody got anymore ideas about Kreacher?

Audience member: Harry's going to use Kreacher the way that Regulus used Kreacher to go through the trials?

MA: Harry, just to repeat it for the- Harry will use Kreacher the same way that Regulus used Kreacher to go through the trials. And this is the assumption that the other person who helped Regulus get to that locket and this is the assumption that the other person who helped Regulus get to that locket, because we've seen there has to be another person who wasn't magical enough or didn't have the same kind of magic to be recognized in the boat to get to that crazy crazy green Horcrux thing, would have been Kreacher. So, Harry will use him the same way. Maybe that's what we're seeing on the cover is them looking for a Horcrux and Kreacher. They look like they're falling backwards on that cover right because their hair. At first I thought they were coming forward, but their hair is like this and that's when the wind is behind you.