PotterCast 98: Thousand Oaks, California! Transcript

Part 1 (0:00 - 22:09)

Melissa Anelli (MA): Hi, guys!

John Noe (JN): Hello, hello!

MA: Thousand Oaks, the most patient town ever. (JN: Yes.) (audience laughs) Thank you very much for waiting. We realized- where were we? Right after we crossed the border in California, that if we kept going at the pace we were going, we would be here at 6:00 P.M. (JN: Yes, yes, yes.) So I started driving.

JN: Yes, all of you have seen the video of Melissa driving. It's much faster than me (MA laughs) and much more insane.

MA: Well, John stays in one lane, and if somebody in front of him is slow, he goes with it, and curses, (JN: No.) but still goes with it. I just, (JN: I don't know.) I play roller-rink out there. (audience laughs)

JN: It's very relaxing, driving out here. A lot of the same sights for miles, and miles, and miles, (audience laughs) so you just kinda forget where you are, and your mind wanders and...

MA: Yeah, and you miss exits. (JN: Yeah.) We had to drop Sue off at the airport this morning. We're really sorry she couldn't be here. (Audience: Aw.) I know. (JN: Yeah.) She had a personal thing to attend to, but she'll be back with the tour next week. So, we're not without Sue for long. She'll be with us in London (JN: Yeah.) when we do a podcast in London for the premiere, and also back out here in Los Angeles. Anybody going down to Los Angeles for the premiere? (several Audience members cheer and applaud) (JN: Woo!) Yeah, we'll be doing a big LeakyMug with our guys- with our friends from MuggleCast. So, a lot of fun.

JN: In place for Sue here, stepping in, (MA: Oh, no.) is our good friend, our new friend Fred, the armadillo. We found him in Arizona?

MA: Arizona. (JN: Yeah.) Where else would they be selling an armadillo? (laughs)

JN: I don't know. Yes, yes.

MA: John started- well, when you hear the podcasts from the last few days, you'll understand. Fred has been a very big contributor to PotterCast.

JN: He has been. He's been very thoughtful, he's had some great insight, actually.

MA: Great insight. (JN: Yeah.) But as we've been going around to all these cities- first of all, if anybody here is new to PotterCast. We're a Harry Potter podcast, we discuss all the news and theories and et cetera; (JN: Mm-hm.) and as you know, we're heading towards the biggest day ever in the Harry Potter fandom, (JN: Yes.) which is July 21st, which is when the seventh book comes out. And so we decided to take this little show on the road, to meet as many of you as humanly possible, and we've been having a great time. (JN: Mm-hm.) But what we've been doing in every city is finding out which city knows their stuff the best. Which one of you can say on July 22nd that your city has the Harry Potter bragging rights, right? (JN: Mm-hm.) So, and we ask you, is it Thousand Oaks?

Audience: Yeah!

JN: I've been saying that it was gonna be Thousand Oaks. (audience laughs) Every stop so far, what've I said? (MA: Every stop so far, John has...) "You guys won't beat Thousand Oaks," is what I usually say. (audience laughs)

MA: Okay, well, we'll see. (JN laughs) All right, well, our first question, we have- it's a five-question test, not the 400-question test that we have on The Leaky Cauldron, if any of you have seen it. (audience laughs) (JN: Yes.) If you go to our website, we have a 400-question- will be 500-question soon, predictions test; so that when the book is out, we can grade it, and we can find out the fan who knew the most about Harry Potter going in. And we will- (JN: Everything there is to know.) yeah. And we will watch their head grow really large, (audience laughs) and we'll give them prizes. But for now, our first question for Thousand Oaks is whether you think that Harry is going to live or die. If- no, don't answer yet. (audience laughs) People usually jump in there, and we're like, "Wait, no, wait!" If you think he's going to live. (audience cheers)

JN: If you think he is going to die. (audience cheers) Hm. Okay.

MA: This is when we tell the people who thought that he was going to die that they can leave. (audience laughs) (JN: Aw.) No, no, no, no. No, we're kidding, we're kidding. But yeah, no, he's not going to die!

JN: Well, Fred thinks he's going to die, actually, so (audience laughs) Fred can't leave. Fred has to hang out, so it's all good.

MA: Oh, would you like to see what I'd like to do to Fred?

JN: No, he's nice. (MA laughs)

MA: We'll see. (audience laughs) Okay, our second big question for you. Snape: is he good? (audience cheers)

JN: Is he a very bad man? (audience cheers) Hm.

MA: Quinn thinks he's a bad man! (JN: Oh!) Quinn has weird theories about Hagrid, too, so we're gonna leave that alone. (all laugh) So, okay, okay, number three. Do you remember number three? (laughs) (JN: Number three is...) We've been doing this a lot.

JN: Is Mr. Potter a Horcrux? If you think he is a Horcrux, (JN and audience laugh) go ahead and embarrass yourself and make some noise. (MA laughs) (audience members cheer) Woo! If you do not think he is a Horcrux. (audience cheers)

MA: John may have been right about Thousand Oaks. (JN: Yeah!) Yep, yep, yep!

JN: Pretty good so far! (MA: Pretty good.) Pretty good so far.

MA: Okay, our fourth question: Will Harry return to Hogwarts to go to school? If you think so. (audience members cheer) Delayed, but enthusiastic. (audience laughs)

JN: Yes.

MA: If you don't think so. (audience cheers) Harry's a magic school drop-out. (JN: Yeah.) Just like Fred and George. Snape's going to come down in curlers. (JN: Yes.) That's what we've been saying.

JN: For all of you listening at home, that has been the third time we used that joke.

MA: Sing in silver lamé. Third time. But it's so- I like saying it (JN: It's new to you.) because it makes people laugh. It's not new to the recording. (JN: If you've not heard it, it's new to you.) Sorry, guys. We tell everybody because it's a fun thing. Anyway, number five.

JN: Are we going to be traveling behind the veil? Department of Mysteries. If we will be, make some noise here. (audience cheers) And if we are done with the veil, make your noise here. (audience cheers)

MA: Okay. So, did they answer "yes" to- (JN: "No" counts as noise.) (laughs) "no" counts as noise. Oh, we had- what was the city where everybody was quiet? I think it was Phoenix. Everybody was sort of quiet in Phoenix (JN: Yeah.) and we asked them the question and they just were like... (audience laughs) (JN: Yeah.) We were like, "Hey guys, there's a recording. You need to make some noise." So, okay, okay. We will see. We will find out if Thousand Oaks had the chops. (JN: Okay.) At some point the answers will be identical to another city and then we're going to have to come to both of those cities (JN: Oh, yes.) and do a showdown.

JN: We will phone up a random Thousand Oaks-sians (audience laughs) and be all, "What did you think of this?" and then we'll figure it out.

MA: Well, also what we've been doing in each of these cities is talking our favorite Canon Conundrums. So, who knows what a Canon Conundrum is? (audience members cheer) (JN: Not bad, not bad.) Who knows what canon is? (audience members cheer) Who doesn't know what canon is? (JN cheers) Okay. No, it's understandable. (audio cuts out) A hard core Harry Potter fan, you might not know. (JN: Yes.) Canon is the Harry Potter books. It's the portion of what we know about the world that comes from J.K. Rowling that we know to be completely true. (JN: Yeah.) Right? Not like some of these Snape theories you guys send us.

JN: It can come from other places though, too. We've had canon come from J.K. Rowling's website, from information we've gotten from the video games that we've learned came from Jo. Anything that has come from Jo in some official capacity, most people would consider that canon.

MA: Yeah, it's canon. So, a Canon Conundrum is something that we talk about when we try to figure out a problem or something about the remaining Harry Potter book that has yet to be determined. We start- I think our first Canon Conundrum was whether the chess game at the first book (JN: Yes.) was going to be relevant in the seventh book. So, stuff like that. Today we're talking about (drum-roll noise)...

JN: (drum-roll noise) Mr. Dumbledore, is he dead or alive? No, just kidding. (audience laughs) We read in Book Six that Mr. Sirius Black had a will. So our question today is did Dumbledore have a will? Who would he have left his things to, what he could have had to leave, and how any of those possessions could affect Deathly Hallows.

MA: And who gets the purple cloak with the stars?

JN: And the cool hat! That little hat with the tassel!

MA: Yeah. Yeah.

JN: I wanna see Harry rolling the hat. (MA and audience laugh) That'd be cool.

MA: He sees Voldemort, Voldemort just starts laughing at him.

JN: He's like, "Dude! (MA: "What are you wearing? Come on. This a battle to the death!") You're like a hundred and thirty years too young for that hat."

MA: So our first big question relating to this is who gets the Pensieve?

JN: The Pensieve would be one of probably the most informational possessions Dumbledore could have left behind. We don't really know much of a family for Dumbledore other than Aberforth, and we don't really know who any of his close contemporaries or friends were. So if not Harry, (MA: Then who?) then who?

MA: Here's my question about Aberforth: do you think him and Dumbledore are still on the straights? Do you think they're still talking?

Audience member: Yeah.

MA: Do you think he's still in the Order? I don't know. Dumbledore...

Audience member: Dumbledore's dead.

MA: Oh, you know what I mean! Come on. (audience talks)

Audience member: (unintelligible) -his friend who stayed at the...

JN: The Hog's Head?

Audience member: The Hog's Head, yeah.

JN: Yeah.

Audience member: He was very close to the bartender.

JN: Yeah.

MA: Aberforth- J.K. Rowling said that Dumbledore's family was a "profitable line of inquiry." (JN: Mm-hm.) And I'm just curious, who thinks that that means Aberforth?

JN: I don't know if maybe...

MA: More Dumbledore family that we haven't heard of? (audience starts talking)

JN: Probably his ancestors, I would think, is maybe what she meant by that.

MA: It's like- I'm sorry? (audience member speaks) (JN: He's an old...) Aberforth? Dumbledore?

JN: Dumbledore's an old, old guy.

MA: Well, his parents would be dead, but a hundred-sixty-year-old...he has to have more than a brother rolling around, right? (JN: Maybe.) (audience member speaks) They all died of wizarding cancer? What? (audience laughs)

JN: Whoa! That's sad.

Audience member: She said she wasn't going to introduce new characters.

MA: Oh, new characters. (JN: Yeah.) I'm sorry. I thought you said cancer.

JN: Oh. (audience members laugh)

MA: Oh! She said- she didn't say that she wasn't going to introduce more- (audience members talk) no.

Audience member: Yes, she did.

MA: Not many, but there would be more characters.

Audience member: No one that would be relevant to the plot.

JN: Yeah. What if- here's a fan-fiction favorite; Dumbledore's great-granddaughter comes to Hogwarts and has a romance with Harry and... (audience members laugh)

MA: And is blonde with blue eyes (JN: Yes. Exactly.) and has great magic ability. Who's read that fan-fic?

JN: There's so many of those like that. Oh, gosh.

MA: I bet you have. See? Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Or Harry has to RSVP to Dumbledore's family reunion since he can't go and he gets to go meet them all. That's what- we'll get plenty of his family there. (JN: All the Dumbledores.) Okay, but back to the will. Sorry.

JN: Yeah, back to the will, and back to- what was it- the quote you said that the family would be a good line of inquiry.

MA: "Profitable line of inquiry," Dumbledore's family.

JN: Yeah. I kind of heard that to mean people who came before him. Possibly a Dumbledore lineage or something. If he is a great ancestor of, maybe not necessarily a founder like Godric Gryffindor. Some people might have though he was a descendant of Merlin, which would have been kinda cool, but what all that means...

MA: They mention Merlin a lot in the books. (JN: Yeah.) I mean, a surprising amount, (JN: Yeah.) because he's not supposed- she's not mixing lores here, but I've always sort of wondered if Merlin would come into it, (JN: Well, they have an Order of Merlins.) but that's a hard thing to throw in at the end. (JN: Yeah.) You know?

JN: Back to the Pensieve, though, I guess. And I mean, Dumbledore obviously collected all kinds of other cool trinkets in his hundred-and-fifty-some years, and he has whole shelves full of these silvery instruments and things, but one of the big things a lot of people were- (MA: Oh, wait, question!) What?

MA: Doesn't he technically own the house-elves at Hogwarts? Aren't they sorta his? No, they belong to- who are their masters? Is this Hogwarts, the school?

JN: Well, other than Professor Sprout. (MA: Professor Sprout?) (audience laughs) Professor Sprout owns- oh, it's not as fun without Sue! (MA: I know.) I can hear her from the airplane, "No!" (makes arguing noises)

MA: (laughs) It's been a week of this, a week of this in the car. John maintains that Helga Hufflepuff, who is like Sue's idol, (JN: Yes.) enslaved the house-elves.

JN: She's responsible for the house-elves' enslavement.

MA: And you think they only talk about it on the show, but it's a complete fat lie. (JN: Yeah.) They sit in the car, three-hour debate, (JN: Over dinner.) Sue's turning purple. (audience laughs)

JN: Mouthfuls of food, (MA: Yeah.) (mumbles) "House-elf!" (audience laughs) No.

MA: Sorry, but my house-elf thought went to hell, so (JN: Yes.) complete yours.

JN: Well, okay, the Pensieve would be an opportunity for Harry to gain some of the knowledge that a lot of people, including myself, feel that he did not get before Dumbledore left him. Things about the Horcruxes, more about himself, potentially, more about things he could learn as a wizard. And a lot of people are wondering where's he gonna get all this knowledge from, if not some other senior member of the Order that has this information to give him, or maybe (MA: Not Dawlish.) not- Dawlish is a very informational, wise, and experienced wizard, but I don't know if he has the kind of information that Dumbledore could have given him.

MA: Well, that's a good question. Who would execute this will? Who do you guys think would be the one? Dumbledore came to Harry and told him about Sirius', right? But Dumbledore's the natural person to do that. Who would execute it? Lupin, McGonagall. (JN: Gringotts?) What if it was Aunt Petunia?

JN: Why would it be Aunt Petunia?

MA: They've written letters to each other. What if he said, "If I die, (JN: Yeah.) he has to come- he's gonna be back at your..."

JN: See, I don't know much about wills. I'm not sure exactly how that works.

MA: Not wills, not all his stuff, but she might have something to give him, (JN: Yeah.) you know?

JN: Well, I still think Aunt Petunia's going to give him some stuff of Lily's before Deathly Hallows is over and done with, because I think that there's some stuff up in that attic that she's just been kinda shuffling her feet about when to give Harry, (MA laughs) and when she was oddly flushed in Half-Blood Prince, at the mention of Harry possibly leaving them for good after the summer, (MA: Mm-hm.) I think that was her, "Oh, gosh, now I have to really do the things I've been meaning to do," (MA: Yeah.) "like give him all Lily's stuff." But that was huge...

MA: And then he'll open the box, and (JN: Yeah.) the Mystic Kettle of Nackledirk will be inside, (JN: It'll be...) and (audience laughs) (JN: All kinds of cool stuff in there.) all kinds of cool stuff.

JN: Probably another, like, a shield, or a weapon.

MA: But when did she think was going to be a good time? I mean, they're getting attacked in- (JN: Yeah.) right in front of the house. Come on, Petunia!

JN: She just really, really, really did not want to even probably acknowledge that stuff up there, she was probably putting it off as long as possible.

MA: You act like this stuff actually does exist.

JN: It does exist! You wait, you wait, it's up there. (MA laughs)

MA: (imitating John) You wait, you wait.

JN: She's bound to be waiting to do something, or give something to Harry, (MA: Yeah.) because we haven't heard the last of the Potters, and Lily and James, and all those people, they've got some more stuff to contribute, I think, and it would- was there even a will for the Potters?

MA: Well, that's another thing. We've never heard of a will for the Potters. Maybe it's the results of the will. Maybe it's- she has everything up in the attic somewhere that she hasn't told Vernon about, (JN: Yeah.) because Vernon would (JN: Well, also...) turn green.

JN: Think of this: Harry has a vault in Gringotts; did his parents' vault consolidate into that vault, or is that his own?

MA: It is his parents' vault, isn't it? Or is it Harry's? (JN: Is it?) It's the Potters' vault. (JN: Yeah, I don't know.) It's a family vault. It's like, you know. Yeah.

JN: Well, now do you give (MA: Come on, John.) an eleven-year-old free access to an entire estate, or do you think when he becomes of age, he's going to be given another key, or given something else (MA: No.) that has the rest the rest of his stuff?

MA: No, they did! It's whoever has his key, but they did give him access to it, and he's acted responsibly. I mean, if he was out buying wizarding Lamborghinis, and stuff, that (laughs) (JN: I don't think that they would rely...) Dumbledore would have stepped in.

JN: On the maturity of the individual; probably some sort of wizarding law, like a Muggle law, that you don't become to your full inheritance until you reach a certain age.

MA: Well, he's becoming seventeen in this book, (JN: Yeah.) which is huge. My personal theory is that this means that the second of his birthday, the wards come down, and right- which she's confirmed in the last book- but (JN: Yeah.) that Voldemort will be waiting at those wards. And we're gonna see a big battle at Privet Drive. (JN: At the Privet Drive? Ooh.) And they're gonna be lucky to escape, to get out to the wedding. Which will happen.

JN: (laughs) You think they would schedule the wedding on the day he loses all his protection?

MA: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (JN: That would be very poor planning.) (laughs) No, no, no. Yeah, I'm sure Voldemort's checking the calendar, (JN: Yeah. When are those Weasleys getting married?) to make sure Bill and Fleur aren't getting married on the day (JN: Yeah.) that he kills Harry Potter. Actually, he would like that. (JN: Yeah.) But you know what I mean, they're trying to get out, to get to the Burrow, and it's near his birthday, and the wards come down. We've been waiting for that. We have to find out what Dudley saw in the- (JN: We are flying all over the place.) You're just busting to say stuff. Come here. What's your name?

Audience member: It's probably just not important, just like a funny thing, or (MA: I don't know!) a terrifying experience as a child. What could Dudley...

MA: You know, we came upon a good theory about this.

JN: You know, we're trying to figure out who the wizard or the person that will discover magic later in life is going to be. (MA: But...) We know it- didn't she say it wasn't Petunia?

MA: She said it- and she also said that Dudley is exactly as he seems. But the question that I have- (JN: That's a not an answer, though.) It's a little bit of a non-answer, you know, it's a little bit of a tricky answer. Somebody said- we were talking about the Dursleys and how badly they treat Dudley. And we sort of got around to the line of thinking that what if what Dudley saw was himself actually being a wizard? (JN: Yes. I love that theory.) Because everybody- if you notice in the first few books, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon are very, very anxious to keep Dudley from getting upset. This is what- I mean, lots of parents do this: "Don't cry, I'll give you everything," and then the kid grows up to be the most spoiled thing, you know? But, if there was an instance when he was younger where he got upset and something happened and Petunia recognized the signs, and now Dudley has some sort of memory about it that he wouldn't know unless a Dementor appeared because the Dementor- Harry wouldn't have remembered all that without a Dementor either. (JN: Sure.) And Dudley imagined that that came true, that he became a wizard. What his parents- because he's seen his parent's reaction to magic, (JN: Yeah.) and what if that's what got him so depressed? You know? (JN: Yeah.) "What if I am a wizard? What if I could have been a wizard? My parents will disown me, I will have nothing." You know? Which, I don't know...

JN: Yeah. That would be such an interesting story line to have in Deathly Hallows, just for nothing else other than how it mirrors other things in our own society. People discovering things about themselves that they don't want their parents ever find out about for fear of those kind of things. (MA: Yeah.) If she did that, it would be very, very interesting to Dudley's character.

MA: Well, it's either that or an empty refrigerator, I mean- (JN laughs) you know? (JN: Yeah.) What would you like to say back there?

Audience member: I've got a bit of a contrary, is the fact that he couldn't see the Dementors.

MA: Well, no, we don't know that. She very specifically wrote that scene. He never- he's always face down. We never see him looking up and not seeing it. We don't know. (JN: Yeah.) So he's face down, he might have- if he looked up, he might have seen them.

Audience member: But then didn't they start to almost kiss him?

MA: Yeah, but that doesn't mean that he saw them. And he was in such a- right. And he was in such a state at that point, having never been presented with real magic, and now you have this overwhelming presence of death. (JN: Sure.) He doesn't remember it. You know? So, that's what I think.

JN: It's very tricky to figure that kind of stuff out when we're only here reading the story through Harry's perspective, too. It's very hard to figure out without seeing it.

MA: Well, but that's her job. That's Jo's job. (JN: Sure.) That sort of screams to me that that was her trying to keep that piece of information from us, (JN: Yeah, definitely.) because if we know that he can't see it, then that question is gone. (JN: Yeah.) And why do you hide that piece of information? Because what if he can see it? Those bursts of magic, those uncontrolled bursts of magic from people who aren't yet magicians, yet wizards- (laughs) magicians! Rabbits out of hats, you know? They tend to be- I mean, think of Neville bouncing when he was thrown out the window. They tend to be life-saving, they tend to be when you're endangered, (JN: Sure.) they tend to be protective. So, maybe that will happen. They will be cornered, and something (JN: Yeah.) completely unexpected to Voldemort as well, thinking that Dudley's a Muggle. You know?

JN: Well, yeah, thinking we're gonna have a possible battle near Privet Drive. Having someone we don't know is a wizard or not be nearby could have a huge scene-altering experience. (MA: Yeah.) If Dudley has something to, some kind of protective contribution to make, it would totally be unexpected but it would be an awesome addition to the story.

MA: It's a great line of defense, though, for the Order and for the people who are trying to defeat Voldemort, is to Polyjuice themselves into Muggles (JN: Yeah.) so that Voldemort doesn't realize these people are actually wizards. You know. You get it.

JN: What if Dudley isn't really Dudley, and is a Polyjucied Dawlish this entire time? (audience laughs) That would be crazy cool.

MA: He's been Dawlish the whole time. (JN: Yes!) Torturing Dud- torturing Harry.

MA: What? (Audience member: Ask Fred.) What does Fred think?

JN: (as Fred the Armadillo) Well, I think that it's very possible that Dudley might have been really Dawlish the whole... (as himself) That's exactly what I've been saying, Fred!

MA: I think Fred's been in the sun too long (MA and audience laugh) (JN: Oh!) Anybody recognize the voice of Fred? It's sort of the cookie guy from Shrek. (laughs) "Not my gumdrop buttons!" (audience laughs)

JN: Maybe it's a distant cousin.

MA: What?

JN: He could be a distant cousin.

MA: An armadillo.

JN: Yes.

MA: A cookie armadillo?

JN: It happens.

MA: Okay. It happens. Well, do you guys have any theories around this? About what Dumbledore might have left that might have been important? Want to come up?

Audience member: All right, well not really about that, but with Dudley having magic, protective magic, why wouldn't he have used it during the Dementor attack?

MA: Mm. (audience laughs)

JN: Well, it takes- yeah, I mean it's an uncontrollable thing, and it's really not predictable either. And Dudley, (MA: Was passed out.) as scared as he was, he didn't really understand why, he didn't understand what was happening. So to come up with a defense against it...

MA: Well, he would never do it on purpose (JN: Yeah.) He would never come up...

Audience member: Well, that's kind of like the same thing.

JN: Or for his subconscious to even come up with some kind of defense. He didn't really know what was happening. I mean if there were a car coming at him full speed, at least your head can comprehend, "Well maybe I should get out of the way. Maybe I should jump out of the way or something." And whether you need magical assistance to that, I could see magic coming into play there. But to just have this overwhelming fear come on you, and not know why or how it's happening.

MA: And the only defense is really a Patronus.